What is intimacy?

I often listen to the dreams and desires of others.  They will speak of money, travel, a dream house, an ideal partner and sex life.  It is as if the mind is rattling off , the “to get and have” list and then most beautifully underneath the rubble of materials and achievements,  lies their deepest truths and out comes what they really want… love, touch and Intimacy.

Our society and its fast pace push to strive, to achieve, to get, to have, has molded us into the thinking that all we want is external to us.  This is extremely disempowering, for if we have to depend on the world and those around us to fulfil our needs and our desires, all our stories of why we cannot have  and what we are doing wrong … or even what is wrong about us, start to feel like the truth.

Even the things in life that cost nothing but feed and nourish the quality of our life such as love and intimacy, we believe are something that someone gives us … if we are good, beautiful, worthy and so on.

You see it is the belief that what we want is external to us and our interpretation of the thing we desire that confines and limits our experiencing it.

To restrict Intimacy, to meaning to be close to one other,  and/or in a sexual context denies us of the fullest experience of Intimacy.  Intimacy has very little to do with being close to one person or sex, which is often why we still crave something we perceive as missing, yet cannot quite put our finger on it …  but most simply Intimacy means our innate desire to be truly seen and to be known.

And yet we ourselves do not allow that … for this is our fear.  What if someone truly sees us, truly knows us? Will we still be love able?  Will we still be enough?

Our way to Intimacy is not out there, or the responsibility of another.  It is what we ourselves are “wearing” as armour, based on our love for ourselves that holds us away from what we as humans not only want but need … intimacy.

Guest Post by Michelle Roberton

 

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