Why we need to understand Super Orgasm..

.Or any kind of orgasm for that matter…

Finally, the time has come. Anyone who has been to any of our events since October has been hearing about it – our Jannette was involved in scientific research into multiple orgasms for a Channel 4 documentary and last night it finally aired.

It was interesting to watch it. Mainly because I was witness to what was going on behind the scenes. And I don’t mean what went on to prepare for the tests technically. But rather the emotions, trials and tribulations that were going on. I know several of the women were facing them but being with Jannette every day, I experienced her anxiety first hand.

You see, Jannette is massively claustrophobic. This means that she is irrationally scared of enclosed spaces. For one of the tests, she has had to masturbate in an MRI scanner. The MRI is like a small tunnel she had to lie in. Already sounds bad enough, doesn’t it? Yet it gets worse: She also had to wear a restrictive face mask while her head was clipped onto the bed to avoid movement. I am not scared of tight spaces but goodness me, I would not have liked to be in that situation. And don’t forget that she also had to “perform” in this situation – masturbating to not only one, but multiple orgasms. I can barely manage one in my rather comfy bedroom…

Don’t forget that Jannette, like all people, is not an island either. She has friends and family around her. Some of which were less than supportive. Coming from a Christian, African no less, background, she has had to put up with a lot of judgement and disapproval.

“Gosh, that sounds hard. So why did she do it them?” you might ask. And it is a fair question. But you see, this study is so very important for women everywhere. Did you know that the entire structure of the clitoris was only discovered in 2009? Two thousand and fucking nine! WTF!!!

Basically, since Masters and Johnson’s work in the 60s, which had mind blowing findings into human sexuality and female orgasmic capacity, nothing much has happened really in terms of understanding female sexuality. And that is not only problematic because many women are being denied the pleasure and satisfaction of orgasm with its many health benefits. But also because the lack of understanding combined with the stigma still attached to female sexuality makes us vulnerable to being send away by our doctors with possible underlying health issues remaining undiagnosed.

In the research for this little blog post I came across a shocking study that found that women’s pain is taken less seriously than men’s. The study suggests this may be due to doctors wrongly perceiving women as being more irrational and emotional than men. This sexist stereotype means that doctors are more likely to dismiss women’s pain as being in the mind rather than due to physical issues. The reason why this is even more shocking is because women have a higher pain threshold than men. Think about it, women have to have it as we are the ones going through childbirth. You may have seen those funny YouTube videos of blokes being put through a taste of what period pain feels like and they almost pass out, while most women would just pause, take a deep breath and continue to go about their day.

And the story isn’t much different when it comes to sex. I just came across an article written by a doctor that starts with “’Coming’ isn’t that easy, if you’re a woman. Nearly all men can climax without difficulty, but women just aren’t built that way. Unfortunately, not everyone knows this all-important fact – even in 2015.” Are you fucking kidding me? May I remind you that, unlike men, women have an entire organ that does not seem to have any function other than pleasure. Yes, I am talking about the clitoris. We have a whole organ with the sole purpose of pleasure! So what do you mean “women’ just aren’t built that way”. Hmmm, I think you need to check again…

So ladies, in conclusion, I am going to repeat what Jannette has been trying to beat into me for the last two years: MASTURBATE! Flick that bean, twirl that perl and wank like your life depended on it. The benefits are plentiful:

  1.       You get better at what you practice. If you want to play in the orgasm symphony, you better learn how to play your violin. With frequent practice, your brain “learns” how to respond to stimulus (you may have heard of the term “neuroplasticity” – the forever changing and adapting nature of our brain)
  2.       Masturbation will help you to better acquaint yourself with your body. The better you understand what works for you, the better you can guide a partner and help them to understand what gets your rocks off. And as much fun as the orgasm will be for you, it’ll be pleasurable for them, too.
  3.       You are more likely to identify when something is just simply wrong with you. If you know your body well and it suddenly or progressively does not respond as it usually does, you will be better able to explain to your doctor what you are experiencing. Being able to present this with confidence means you will be more likely to be taken seriously and get treated appropriately rather than being sent away with a “you just need to relax your mind” diagnosis.

**Disclaimer: If you have experienced rape and sexual violence, you may struggle with having sexual contact, even if it is on your own. I have been there. Masturbation can be a great way to re-acquaint yourself with your sexuality. Also make sure that you seek appropriate help. Your GP can advise you and arrange counselling for you.

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