What’s It Like

First times are always daunting, right? If you want to know what you’re letting yourself in for, read on. We asked a few of our members and guests to tell us about their first Scarlet Ladies experiences, in their own words.


Benny’s first event was a Scarlet Circle: our private, members-only women’s coaching sessions where women find the space to explore the issues that affect them personally.

“I know this was a fundamental turning point for me … I can't be made to feel awkward or inadequate anymore”

“I was a bit intimidated at first, I had just literally plucked this event off of the internet and I had never been to something similar before. I signed up, and Sarah called me to let me know I would actually pay less if I chose the membership and that I was free to cancel at any time. The idea that this was such a close knit community and that they cared about their members so much reassured me.

“When I arrived on the night, I was the first and I still didn't know what to expect. I knew there would be other people, and that we would be sharing our issues and having an open conversation. Sarah let me know that two other women were supposed to come and we had a pleasant conversation while we waited. When everyone arrived, she explained the format of the evening and I found it extremely interesting: in turn, if we felt up for it, we could go sit on a chair facing the rest of the group and talk through our issue. Then the group was allowed to ask questions to us, but not open a conversation. After a couple of minutes, we would turn around, and the rest of the group would talk through the issue as if we weren't in the room. This may sound scary, but honestly it felt like having the chance to eavesdrop comfortably on a group of well-meaning friends talking about me. It made me feel understood, comforted and safe.

“I went back for every other Circle event that year, and when I could I brought a friend with me. What we shared at the Circle helped make it one of the most meaningful friendships I still have. A year later, I know this was a fundamental turning point for me in releasing tension about discussing sexual topics, and I can't be made to feel awkward or inadequate anymore.”

Romany Reagan

Romany is a single PhD student and a super-orgasmic woman. She joined us for the first time at our special edition Talk of the Town: Super Orgasm event:

“All of us felt comfortable being honest about our experiences”

“The event space, 23 Paul Street, was absolutely gorgeous, and to be welcomed with bubbly was a special treat. We sat around in comfy chairs & leather couches & talked about hang ups & freedoms (or lack thereof) regarding the female orgasm. Even though it started as a panel, it ended up more of a group discussion, where I think all of us felt comfortable being honest about our experiences.

“Female sexuality is empowering, not shameful. We all need Scarlet Ladies in our lives because we should all get to enjoy having space to talk in an open safe environment.

“The best thing about it was being able to have a comfortable, open conversation about my perspectives on female sexuality & my motivations for wanting to be part of the Channel 4 Super Orgasm documentary.”